Into Past Shadows
by carolinagirlfromsc
Summary: When the world you think you know is uncertain and new relationships are revealed, digging in the past for answers seems only to lead to more questions. Not all of those questions are safe. Character pairing not romantic.


**AN: Hey, I am not no sure what I want to do with this story right now or how far to progress and at what pace. I would love your suggestions please review if you want me to continue because I need them as motivation. Also I like to write but I suck at grammar. Bear with me. Also this is AU. Non-cannon compliant after Order enters the Department of Mysteries. Sirius is not dead. **

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter is property of JK Rowling. Duh.

**Hermione's Perspective:**

It was the end of fifth year. Everyone was packing up ready to leave but neither Harry nor Ron would be taking the train this year. After the debacle at the Department of Mysteries, Harry would be staying at 12 Grimauld Place with Sirius. Ron and his family would be staying there as well. Everything feels so different now. The battle has put so much in perspective for me. Life seems rocky and I feel so very alone. I feel like an outcast sometimes. As I listen to Harry and Ron in the common room I can't help but wonder if I really fit in with them. I sometimes feel like the tag-along friend, there out of pity or their need for a walking encyclopedia.

Even when I would go home I didn't seem to belong. I was unable to tell my parents much of the wizarding world for fear they would remove me from it. I couldn't have that. The day I got my Hogwarts letter magic became a part of me. It explained why I didn't fit in in my muggle school, why I couldn't make friends. When I got to Hogwarts and I had the same difficulties. I had to realize that I was the problem; the problem was with me.

Then I met Harry and Ron and I thought I would have friends for life. The more I contemplate it now though; we have nothing really in common. Ron and Harry can share things that I can't; that I would never be able to.

Things are different now. My parents are dead, and no one knows. That is how I am going to keep it. My parents came from wealthy families and were only children, so I inherited a tidy sum plus the properties and life insurance. Enough that I would never have to work, but the thought of lacking purpose in my life disturbs me more than a lack of funds.

They were killed my muggles. No deatheater attack, no battle, no magic; just a drunk driver and an icy road in early December. That was three years ago. I have been lying to my friends ever since, living on my own, traveling, learning.

If I were honest though, their death never saddened me. To the world they seemed accepting of my being a witch but looks can be deceiving. My father didn't need an excuse to take his anger out on me. He did it long before they knew I was a witch and I have the scars to prove it. Everyday held something else I did wrong, deserving of punishment. It started when I was young because I don't remember a time when he wasn't screaming, punching, or kicking. My mother would watch. She would make sure he didn't kill me but she didn't care enough to make it stop. Her next drink was all she really cared about and he made sure she got it. It is amazing what can be hidden behind suburban doors.

A woman approached me one day as I was walking through the streets of London doing some shopping before the start of term. She spoke to me as if she knew me well. I thought it strange at the time but now I understand it to have been my destiny. I don't know why I trusted her, everything told me I shouldn't but she seemed to know some secret, a curiosity-bending secret. It was hidden in her eyes, in the glint, the same one the Headmaster always had.

She advised me to go to an old bookshop in London; Lorden's it was called. She advised me to look for a book, Beyond Appearance. She said if I flipped to page 354 I would understand. I, foolishly, followed her advice. I found the book in the shop right where she said it would be. I paused for a moment, just a moment, wondering if this could be a trap but ultimately decided I was already far enough in to be hurt, why not travel further down the rabbit's hole.

As I reached the page I was seeking, everything felt calm and the world seemed to stop around me. It felt like nothing I had ever sensed before. It was peace and power, knowledge and sensuality. It was intoxicating.

A voice started singing to me. It was melodic, enchanting. It guided me to a secret passage in the shop. It was a stone hall, lit by torch, much like the corridors of Hogwarts. The passage led to a curious old wooden door. Normally, I would never have opened it, but I was drawn to it by something I could not comprehend. It felt safe. The magic coursing through my veins felt pure not tarnished by a curse.

I opened the door slowly and as I entered I saw several women curiously standing by on old fireplace. The women wore robes of crimson, with hoods upon their heads. They were speaking in Latin, performing a magic I didn't understand. It wasn't long before they sensed my presence. They quickly ushered me in.

"You need not be afraid of us dear. You must be Hermione. I am Thera. I help to guard the secrets we posses. I suppose you must be wondering why you are here, why you felt drawn to this place." She said with a warm tone.

"I don't understand exactly what this is. How do you know my name? What brought me here? What secrets do you keep?" They could sense the urgency in my voice. Thera was quick to speak again, "All of you questions will be answered in there time but I will do what I can for now. We are the keepers of lost pasts. People can live their entire lives not knowing who they really are, but you desire more. You crave a knowledge you know to be missing but you know not what it is. We know your name because your past has been written in our books. You have living life under an identity that is not your own for many years."

"If I am not Hermione Granger, then who am I?" Something seemed to click inside my head. Was this why I never fit it? Could this be the reason? I doubted it. I think it probably is more of a personality flaw than anything else but it would be easy to blame it on a murky past.

"You were hidden away, by your birth mother when you were born. She was magical. War was a constant threat and with your relatives it was most certain you would be caught in the cross hairs of battle. Your mother hid her pregnancy and gave you up to an orphanage a few hours after your birth. She wanted you desperately but knew she would never be able to keep you safe so she thought it best to send you to the muggle world away from the fighting. She didn't want you to be a target because of your relatives and your power."

Still confused by the situation and slightly unnerved I had to ask, "Who was my mother? Who were these dangerous relatives? How can you know a past I don't?" Questions swirled in my head so fast I felt in a fog.

Thera was quick to reply. "Your mother was Annetta Malfoy, half-sister of Lucius, daughter of Abraxas Malfoy and Eileen Prince. Your mother was illegitimate. Eileen had a horrible marriage and while she was not a pretty girl by any means, Abraxas became fond of her. Eileen would often sneak out in the night to enter the magical world for only a night at a time. Upon discovery of her pregnancy, and informing Abraxas, it was determined that the best course of action was to give the child to Abraxas after the delivery. Eileen's husband surely would have killed her if he ever found out she was pregnant with another man's child. Tobias Snape was a cold man, a mean one, with a nasty temper, and no qualms about hitting a woman or a child."

"Severus Snape wouldn't happen to be related to Tobias would he?" I had to ask but I felt the answer rising in the pit of my stomach.

"Severus is his son, and your uncle. He is, as is everyone else, unaware of your existence. Lucius was a few years older than Severus, and Severus a few years older than your mother. They met when she attended Hogwarts. He protected her always, though it wasn't often needed. Being the younger sister of Lucius Malfoy meant that no one bothered her. She was also very pretty and intelligent. She seemed to get the best of both of her parents. She had Eileen's dark hair, and Abraxas' complexion and eyes. She held top marks for her class although her mother never knew. She died while the girl was young." Thera explained.

This all seemed like a fairytale, a dream, some story concocted waiting for someone to jump out and say gotcha. Curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask. "Who is my father then?"

"Your father's name was Titus Bellerose. He was a prominent, wealthy pureblood who chose not to pick a side during the war ultimately it was sitting on the fence so long that got him killed. Voldemort decided one day, in a fit of rage that those who wouldn't chose a side would die. He said those that can't choose a side are spineless and unworthy of life in any world. Your mother found a few weeks later that she was pregnant with you. She named you before she gave you up to insure you could claim your inheritance upon your discovery of the truth. It is stored in the secret vaults of Gringotts. Your mother named you Amara Eliana Bellerose before she died. She placed a strong concealment charm on you for our protection. You also have a glamour on. It is a strong one meant to conceal you as Hermione Granger. I understand this is a lot to take in. It is a very complicated situation and I cannot provide you with sufficient answers. Your vault at Gringotts under your true name should hold the key to more answers. The only thing more I can do for you is to remove the glamour. Would you like to see yourself as you really are?"

Thoughts swished in my head, running rapid. I couldn't comprehend the magnitude of the situation and I find myself caving to curiosity, "Yes," I say hesitantly. "Show me."


End file.
